Overthinking? Terrified? Jumping Anyway!
(Part 2 of “Super Leader Secrets and the Kryptonite of ‘I’m Fine’”)
Wait… what was I even upset about?
After my last newsletter went out, I had to laugh. Not because it was funny—but because I couldn’t remember what I’d been crying about when it came time to write this one. No, seriously, I had to read it again.
I mean, I remember the moment. The catch in my throat, the sting in my eyes, the wave of “I cannot pretend another second.” But the specifics? Gone. That’s how fast shame evaporates once it’s been spoken out loud.
🎭 Performing Your Business Is Exhausting
At the time, I was neck-deep in dread. Dreading the things on my to-do list, dreading another week of “Hey, how’s business?!” small talk, dreading the sound of my own inner critic giving me her regularly scheduled performance review.
The truth was—I was tired. Not the kind of tired that sleep fixes. The kind of tired that comes from performing your business instead of actually building it.
🧠 The Moment I Stopped Lying to Myself
That moment of honesty cracked the whole thing open. It gave me space to see what I was really doing: forcing myself to follow strategies and systems that didn’t feel right—just because they were “proven” or “best practice” or “what successful people do.”
You know the ones:
- The weekly reels with captions you hate writing.
- The 5am miracle routines that make you want to commit small crimes.
- The cold calls that feel like public speaking in a stranger’s driveway.
- The networking events where you smile so hard your face cramps.
All those “shoulds” pile up until your calendar looks full… but nothing feels aligned.
😌 Relief Doesn’t Always Look Like Success
After the tears came relief. Not because anything got magically easier—but because I stopped lying to myself.
I let go of the idea that being a good leader meant I had to enjoy every part of the process. Or worse—excel at every part of the process.
It’s funny how quickly clarity arrives once you stop pretending. I realized I’d been running my business like a one-woman Broadway show—costume changes, stage directions, dramatic monologues… and no intermission.
So I gave myself one.
🪄 What If This Could Feel Less Awful?
I took a breath. I looked at everything on my plate. And I asked a question I hadn’t asked in a while: “What if this could feel less awful?”
And you know what? Some things stayed. But others? I let them go. I scrapped a few plans that were more ego than essence. I gave myself permission to do less—but mean it more.
And in the space that created? I started thinking again. Not reacting. I had ideas. I made decisions without spinning. I even felt proud of the work I was doing—which, if you’ve ever tried to prove your worth through productivity, you know is kind of a miracle.
🧭 Discomfort ≠ Alignment
I’m not saying you should quit everything that feels hard. Growth is uncomfortable. But there’s a difference between “this stretches me” and “this drains me.”
One leads to expansion. The other leads to burnout.
So if you’re currently dragging yourself through parts of your business that make you want to scream into a pillow, just know—you’re not the problem. The blueprint you’re following might just not be made for you.
✅ The Power of Pausing
And maybe the bravest thing you can do isn’t to push through, but to pause. To ask what you actually want this to look like. And to let your next move come from honesty, not obligation.
💌 PS: You Get to Redefine It
You’re allowed to change your mind. You’re allowed to do things differently than the gurus say. You’re even allowed to feel good in your business again.
If you want to explore what your kind of leadership really looks like—no cape required—you can take my Expert Integrity Quiz (see my LinkedIn profile) or book a call. No pressure. Just one human talking to another about what’s real.
